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Hey guys.
Sorry I've been away for a few months. Life has been more than crazy, with all the ups and downs. Some changes, too.
I started working in a full-time position last week, so I'm only starting to settle in with my new life. Less time now, but on the brighter side, I'll finally be able to afford some nice stuff! (First thing I did after receiving the news about the job was going out and buying a longboard, ha. And I still want a Terriermon plushy.)
Not much new art to show, but you can follow me on Instagram (@starfishskies) for pictures taken with my crappy phone cam :3
Hi, I've been thinking about realising my dream of publishing some of my poetry (especially the haikus/rengas) in some form. What do you think about using kickstarter or some similar way of funding for this purpose?
Anybody interested in an illustrated book with my poems?
For the first time since I joined DA six years ago I decided to change my literature author tag. The old one just didn't feel right anymore. My style and the emotions I write about have changed. I'm still a dreamer, but it's more about stars and reminiscing now. I'm not the girl who had just finished school and was struggling with the first steps in a semi-independent life full of secret inner rebellion, heartbreak, and insecurity anymore. For some time I had stopped writing altogether, but then I discovered its healing and structuring power again. Together with photography and random other art, poetry is my way of making sense of this world and my inner cosmos, putting it in a form that can be stored and shared.
At the moment I'm in the final phase of my master's thesis and things don't go too well, but I try. During the last few months many times some haiku or poetry portrait would form itself when I had finished my work for the night and wanted to go to sleep. My subconscious mind tends to think in metaphors and haikus, apparently.
  • Listening to: Heather Dale
Some of my current favourite artists here on deviantART, you should check out their awesome work!
digital art: yuumei - her style is amazing, and some of her work is about problems like environmental pollution and censorship.
photography: today I fell in love again with the work of jyoujo, and with the words he puts beneath each picture.
writing: seafishandstarfire (there isn't that much writing in her new account yet, but from her old account I know she's an amazing writer and a wonderful person) and phoenix-cry (her older Stargate stories are wonderful!)
crafts: keyperscove - they create beautiful keys and other pendants.
Hi folks :)
I decided to repost some of my old photos on my photo blog
They will appear in several posts over the next two weeks or so.
And if nothing goes wrong I'll get the sensor of my DSLR cleaned in early April, so stay tuned for better photos :)
I thought I had written a journal last year. I guess I was either dreaming - or the internet ate my entry :(
Whatever. I've been absent for too long and things have changed. A lot. I came back and noticed my favourite writer deleted all her writing. The upload function of dA misbehaved and I had trouble using it with my standard browser.
But I'm back. I don't know if I'll post a lot of pictures here, but I'll try to be active once in a while to have a look at all the goodness around, and be part of the community again.
When I first joined this site, I was lonely, moving around, depressed. Now I am married to a wonderful geek, have a group of friends at the place where I live, and even though I'm still a dreamer I have grown up and become less naive (if I ever really was to begin with). I've finished my undergraduate studies and in one year I will hold a M.A. in linguistics. I have started a wordpress blog at  
There I write about life and post some photos, sometimes I even try to create beautiful magic with my words. I found new community among the bloggers.
How have you all been?
... of this semester's exams. I really hope I haven't failed today's exam (social psychology) or the recent one (biopsychology), don't want to have to repeat them >.< Half of the results from African studies are still missing as well.
Today it's rainy. Ugh. Very very rainy.
Yesterday I made a last minute bid on a drawing tablet, and I got it, hooray! Ebay for the win XD The tablet itself is cheaper then the transport. All in all I have to pay a little less than thirteen Euros (don't ask me how much this is in $, but I guess there's not much difference), I think for an old but still not that bad one from Aiptek this is quite a good catch :D
So hopefully you'll see some attempts of digital drawing invading my gallery soon. Can't promise I'll find the patience to practise a lot, but everything's better than drawing with touchpad/trackpoint. The reason for my decision to try buying a tablet was the fact I have to design a invitation/registration sheet for a youth group event, and a friend of mine asked for help with his homepage design. And I tried to draw faces which endet up looking patchy and a total mess for lack of accuracy. So: I need something more precise to draw with.
Hope the rain ist gone by now, want to leave the library to be with my cookies again. And need to do some shopping.
Oh, and I'll upload some photos soon, now that my only assignment for the next weeks is a term paper I'll hopefully find a little more time. Shot some pics of lights by the riverside at night and stuff like this, but haven't seen them on a bigger screen yet so I hope at least some turned out well, and as far as I remember there were some other shots as well that could have the potential of being ok ;)
Have a good time, please leave comments if you like my work or want to tell me what to improve, and feel free to talk to me either here or on formspring I love talking to random people as long as they are nice ;)

Looking forward to snugging into my bed with my laptop, want to continue watching Stargate SG1 season one haha. The weather is to wet for fancy fair today.
  • Listening to: other people typing noisily
  • Reading: instant messages
  • Eating: not allowed in here
  • Drinking: nothing, but had some coffee before
  • Listening to: the dishwasher
  • Reading: instant messages with a friend of mine
  • Eating: made pancakes
  • Drinking: nothing ... and that's bad
Hey folks, I decided to do a kind of feature today.

First of all, a great musician, who posts funny and extremely skilled videos on youtube. He deserves attention and lots of support. I'm happy cause he chose my idea for one of his new videos, so here it is:…

Then there are two digital fantasy/space artists here on dA who really inspired me this weekend:




Summer is here for a visit.
Two weeks left before the exams.
I prepared pancakes and pudding, both with soya instead of milk, and it worked, I'm really happy and proud *g* (Even one of my flatmates said the pancakes taste good.)So I can enjoy them with much less of a stomach ache then usually, although there still is more air in my stomach then I'd like. Bleeh. After the exams I'll have to seek a docor to run some tests.
Have a nice week.
  • Listening to: my radio
  • Reading: pretending to read a book for university
  • Eating: pide with nutella
  • Drinking: water
It should be summer ... I turned the heater on -.-
Maybe it's just me, feeling cold, tired and somehow a bit like crying ... maybe I'm becoming ill o.O
Gaah gaah gaaaaaaaah ... missing some people. Missing just anyone to cuddle with. I see thousands of people each day, yet ... it's kinda strange. Oh well.
I want to be there now and tell him all this. Or just go out and find someone who'd keep me, the chaotic being that ruins her own stuff with superglue (today it was my table, while reparing my laptop) and hardly is able to do useful things without producing a mess ...
I know I shouldn't think or talk like this, and yes, I guess I'm kinda clever, but only for special things, and maybe kinda likable, but well ... seems not to be enough.
Yeah, really seems like I'm becoming ill ... makes me always babble and sulk ...
My bread tastes like mildew, yuck. My taste buds are stupid. And I'm hungryyyy ... should study but the phase of wandering thoughts started again, stupid stupid.
Oh, crap it.
Finished watching the episodes of "Lie to me" that are online yet ...
Watched part of Germany-Australia yesterday, but I'm not that exited about soccer ... haha have to prepare a presentation related to South Africa until next Monday ... but it's a boring text I have to use.
I want to sleep. Bleeh.
  • Listening to: whisperings in the library
  • Reading: google results
Officially I'm doing some recherch for university right now. But the truth: I didn't find many useful things and I kinda gave up. Yuk. Hate doing reseach without knowing how on earth to find the stuff.
Outside there is alot of sunshine, and I've got half an hour left until my last class for today will start (in the evening ... officially sucks!) Afterwards gonna head to youthgroup, though most of the folks won't show up, they went to a big event. Gaaah, I want ice cream.
I bought some new films for my old Canon AE-1, just feeling like practising with it a little. Love analog shots, especially with this old baby, for the imperfection make the pictures moodier. So this is my nostalgia trip, haha ^^ Want to dabble into portrait photography a little soon. Need to find time, places and of course people who aren't afraid of a giddy girl with a cam :D
Seems I'm finally close to letting go of my weird feelings. But tons of other confusing stuff inside my mind ...
Yo. Have a sunny day.
I miss him. Should forget him, guess we just aren't meant to be. But today again so many things reminded me of him. Musik, words ... I listend to the two band we both enjoy. Maybe it was a stupid thing to do. And I don't know if he possibly will read this journal, so maybe writing this will screw me. And I don't know if I even care.
Yesterday was such a cool day, but this afternoon my thoughts started wandering again, so I took a walk with my camera (results are already online), but afterwards if came back again.
I could eat all day long to keep myself busy. Hardly managed to tidy up my room. Haven't started studying for university yet, so the first day of one weel holiday passed without significance ...
I just want to make this call or write this letter. Throwing pieces of paper down towards the water to let them fly with the wind, but they settled on stones.

Our wireless doesn't work, so I'm using an open connection from someone else's flat which really sucks, keeps kicking me from messengers and facebook due to low connectivity.
But luckily it's warmer again outside since Friday. Today we had the first real thunderstorm of this year, though not much thunder but the more rain :D And afterwards a blue sky so that I could take my walk.

Yada yada yada.
Humour me
  • Listening to: one of those two bands ;)
  • Reading: should be reading my vocabulary book &gt;.&lt;
  • Watching: Lie to me
  • Playing: hide and seek with my feelings and people around
  • Eating: hungry hungry
  • Drinking: water. sparkling, feels strange nowadays
  • Listening to: silent noises of nighttime in a many flat building
  • Watching: CSI:NY
  • Playing: hide and seek with my feelings and people around
  • Drinking: water
Decided to get a formspring account. For anyone interested in humouring me with random questions:

Lots to do these days, but somehow evade getting them done, bah XD

Good night :)
  • Listening to: silent noises of nighttime in a many flat building
  • Reading: should be reading university stuff :/
  • Playing: hide and seek with my feelings and people around
  • Eating: ate lot's of bread. still hungry.
  • Drinking: multi fruit juice
So my dreams decided to run along this starfish crusade, praying for a thunderstorm. It feels so strange to be cut away from these songs being your soul, the words that never surfaced over the brim of reality's horizon. I lost these old dreams of earth fragranted beauty and poppy flowers in the golden fields ... and I don't now how to claim them back.

I want to ink these dreams, write them with charcoal on old walls, trace the lines of each word with my fingertips across your face.
And while I'm sitting under a blanket while night falls I wish that even unwritten letters will find their way flying to you.

I guess I really kinda fell in love with you ... or I'm just alone and becoming insane.

(And I'm running out of journal titles which I'm not afraid to waste for this babbling ...)

Waaahaaaaaaaaaaa! These dreams are slipping, they are tripping over invisible watersprinklers at night for the train station makes me homesick for seeing you.

(Isn't randomness beautiful?)
  • Listening to: Irish music &lt;3
  • Reading: maybe gonna resume &quot;Exile&quot; later ...
  • Eating: chocolate something stuff
  • Drinking: red wellness drink
Oh yes ... our presentation group has to prepare a presentation about the ancient manuscripts of Timbuktu. A fascinating topic (no joke), but the material is a pain in the ass when it comes to re-structuring the video's contents so it makes sense in a powerpoint. Plus, we only can exchange ideas by internet until we'll meet some minutes before class.
Have to read stuff for two other works, and I should go through the schedule for a theater project some friends are taking part in, for I will be the one who has to start the right music at the right parts :D
So I should start working and stop my rambling here now ... good night.
  • Listening to: Meeting you - MrRhythmfanatic
  • Reading: Hotwired
  • Eating: ... will have some pizza later
  • Drinking: water
This terrible cold with feaver hit me, I get it two or three times a year ... it started on Sunday evening, and I'm still not really back on my feet. Went to university on Monday and Tuesday, but skipped linguistics class today (usually I really enjoy it and considered till the last minute to go nevertheless) for my temperature still wasn't back to normal and I felt kinda weak. Later I walked to the supermarket, and even this short walk (about 5 minutes each) and the shopping for the next days made me feel like having exercised too hard or whatever, was more than happy when I stumbled into our flat again ... just to see our dish washer spilt some water. But it seems to have stopped, so I will leave the water to dry by itself ...
So I'm in my bed again, coughing and sneezing like nothing good. Managed to read through more than one novel by today, had wanted to re-read this marvellous stuff for a while and decided to start while I'm lying in bed not willing to move for it would make everything ache :D
Yes, I should do tons of other things, I know ... I'm due with two presentations and a mindmap, have to read some dozens of pages, catch up with the vocabulary of the last weeks ...

My annoying feelings calmed down a little. Would be nice if anything moved forward though.
Oh, and you should watch this:…
A friend of mine sent me the link, made me giggle. Really worth watching and thinking about the implications!
A beautiful piece of music:… sooo cool! Wanna learn to play like this ... but my poor guitar is sleeping in a corner for I don't practice much at the moment.
Started watching an anime series (Wolf's Rain, really cool), and it made me want to be able to draw proper landscapes, sceneries ... so I took paper and pencils with me to university and drew two imaginary things ... second one not yet finished, when I'll have done so I'll try to upload them.
Oh well ... not as short as I intended. Gonna read on until today's seminar stuff and the tasks for homework will be put online so I can catch up ...
  • Listening to: songs by HB
  • Eating: Pocket Coffee
Life is weird. I should have known this by now. I mean, it isn't as if a lot of crazy things would happen ... more or less nothing of importance is happening. And it's driving me crazy. I just do stupid things and inbetween nothing at all. Started listening to metal every now and then a while ago(though only to "softer" songs). Somehow despite I felt really really uneasy with music of this kind for many years, sometimes it now fits my mood. Beginning of it was that through friends I found two bands that have some cool songs ... if you like that style of music, check them out: Sonata Arctica and HB (both from Finland, haha)
But of course I still love other music a lot, too. Recently I bought the new album of a German a capella group, and now that I have internet access (yes! I finally moved into my new home!)I can look for nice stuff on youtube when I'm feeling like it. Sooo cool!
My mind is still confused and I guess that won't change that soon. I really don't know how I could survive the just started semester on my own. I should leave in some minutes to be in time for today's class, introduction to English linguistics.
Visited my family and afterwards some dear friends in my "free" time. On the late evening train back home I wrote lyrics for a song (can be found in my gallery as well), because I was so so so tired due to lack of sleep and because the words just popped into my mind. Happens only rarely to me these days, so I just had to write them down. By now I have a simple melody for the chorus, but it's really stupid, I should take songwriting classes and all of this haha.
And even now I'm writing and writing without saying what I'm longing for to cry out ... but I can't. Discussed it with some close friends, but in this case it doesn't change anything. Because only if I dared to tell, then something could happen. Something beautiful or even something really nasty. So should I stay with the recent state of things? At least for a while I guess. Until I figured out what to do.
Yeah. Randomness. I don't know if anyone will ever read all the stuff I'm writing right now. I guess it's not of importance, maybe even better this way.
But at least it looks like I didn't fail my term paper completely, I was so dying on my way home yesterday because I had been told the results were online. Pooooh.
Went to the fancy fair again, had been there a week ago with another friend of mine. I love the mideval style part of it, with fires and barbecue stalls and handcrafted jewellery and herbs and all of these gorgeous things. I sometimes really dislike artificial smells and colours, so this little island on the chaotic and noisy fancy fair ocean is just neat. Yup. I'd love to buy myself one or two of these beautiful leather bracelets (or cuffs? I don't know where the border between the two of them is), but they are rather expensive. And for I just moved and still have to buy things I can't spend too much money. But ... oooh I so want to go back there and buy the blue one!^^
Maybe if my friends give me back the borrowed money before the fair ends :D
Ooops. Time is running. After this song I really should run to the station.
Have a sunny day.

Edit: A little less chaos in my mind, but still some things bothering me.  Bleh. And my new room still is messy :P
  • Listening to: music in the caf&eacute;
  • Drinking: ... I always forget to drink something ...
Yesterday I was so sick of working on my term paper about the Nigerian national language issue ... I went to a paper shop and bought charcoal, some brown pastels, paper and a brush. Then I spent the evening watching a movie and trying to figure out how to work best with these new drawing materials. At school I had done one or two pictures with pastels and coal, but they hadn't turned out that brilliant ;)
I hope I'll manage to finish the term paper today, because I want to go dancing tomorrow evening ... I never really went to a club or whatever before, but I told a friend of mine I'd go dancing with her when I finished this crap. So, last corrections, tomorrow printing and away with it!
I've really come to enjoy the little café here at university in our institute ... international music, funny people, nice atmosphere. Ok, I can't really concentrate on my work here, but actually I never really can concentrate, so who cares.

I need some reference pictures for practising drawing, without too many details ... anyone who would like to propose something? Would be happy bout this.

Kwa heri,
  • Listening to: me ma making kleszmer music
  • Eating: nina njaaaaaa!!!
The time with my family is nearly over. And instead of studying I read hundreds of pages from stories by a marvellous fanfic author here on dA o.O She put some kind of spell on these that sticks you to your screen, haha. Yeah, lame excuse ^^' It's all the fault of the weird wacko worm and the wulves ... they made me die laughing.

Ninakupenda, rafiki yangu. Lakini siwezi kukuliambia ...
Sitaki kuenda HH, nataka kuenda **********^^ Nataka kukuona.
Nimechoka. Nina njaa.
Nitaenda HH, nitasoma katika Chuo Kikuu ... peke yangu -.- Nitasikia wimbo yako. Na nyimbo za Roxette. Unaona peke yako?

I don't want to stay here, and I don't want to go back to HH. I want something I know I can't do or have. So ... packing my backpack soon, getting my guitar, and Friday afternoon or Saturday morning it's time to hop on the train again. Gee.

"I'm spending my time, watching the days go by ..." I love Roxette. Some great songs. Started practising some on guitar, just simple chords and singing along.


Bought a new shirt yesterday, dark brown with short, wide sleeves, aww. To hide my broad shoulders and strong rib cage.

Thursday I'll attend a small party in the evening. With motto and dressing like film characters or monsters. I'm gonna be ... uhm ... someone from Stargate XDD (easiest fancy dress for me, for I use to wear black shirts and boots, so just add green "army" trousers and some accessoirs ...)Yay, Carter, my teenage idol, lol XDD (Yeah, really ... because I then realized that being female doesn't neccessarily mean being weak and dependend on others and not being allowed to care for oneself, one can be feminine AND strong, hehe.)
A pity I have brown curly hair ...
Thought about dressing as Anna Valerious from "Van Helsing", but how to get a costume like hers without spending lots of money and time ... so SG-1 it is haha. Friend of mine made the same proposition, I guess I'll send him a photo of this later :giggle:
But I'll keep Anna in mind, maybe for next year *sniggering* ... it's at least way better then what onii-sama proposed ... no, I won't dress as catwoman!!! I love cats, I'd love being one once in a while, but these clothes ... leather is fine for it protects, but if vulnerable spots are exposed it doesn't make sense as a dress for fighting o.O I'd rather dress as Emma Peel ... yeeey, carateeeee XD

Ok, I'm just babbling right now, so: Have a nice day!
  • Listening to: music in the university caf&eacute;
  • Reading: &quot;pragmatic factors&quot;
  • Watching: dunno
  • Eating: Chocolate bars
  • Drinking: Gonna buy some hot chocolate now ...
Hey there ... maaaan, it's cold! Some days ago we even had some snow ... not much, but little white glittering things, not even real snowflakes ... more ... balls? Grains? Definitely something cold.
Some stress these days, will have to do lots of things for university during my holidays.

Thanks for alle the faves on my winter pics! Would be happy about some comments, too ;)

If I forget to write again until then: Have a blessed and happy Christmas time!

Miss you dear friends!

Kwa heri, Kayanya
  • Listening to: noisy people around
  • Watching: dunno
  • Eating: I want something tasty ...
  • Drinking: I want some coke ... or juice ...
Some weeks now, and sooo much to do for university ... today it took me about half an hour to find a stupid book!
Tired. And I'm a little ill.
My birthday will be the day with the biggest challenge in class so long, uh-oh. If I survive, one more reason to celebrate.
Gotta return to class now.
This morning I had Swahili-lesson again, I like this.
Bye for now, kwa heri.

Special thanks to a special friends in class. What would I do without you!